Have you ever wondered if what you know about musical educations is accurate? Consider the following paragraphs and compare what you know to the latest info on musical educations.
Those of you not familiar with the latest on musical educations now have at least a basic understanding. But there's more to come.
We left the doctor's office in a state of shock the day we learned that our three-and-a-half-year old son had Asperger's Syndrome, which is an autism spectrum disorder. Fortunately, we took notes that day. Looking back over the notes from that day, the psychologist gave us some excellent advice.
1) Keeping a sense of humor will go a long way.
I do not recall what we said to her, but I do remember her response. "It is good that you have a sense of humor about this, it will go a long way in helping you raise your son through all the challenges." I am not by any means trying to down play the seriousness of this diagnosis. It has been very challenging and difficult. Being able to laugh when we really wanted to scream or cry did help. I remember one day my husband came into the bedroom looking like he was about to lose it. Our son had gone twenty straight minutes of repeating the word "Underwear" in various musical styles. I just busted out laughing at the lunacy and the fact that the crazy song will forever be stuck in my head. My husband also started laughing instead of losing his temper.
2) Stay off the Internet.
While I agree staying off the Internet in the beginning was a great piece of advice for parents first receiving the diagnosis of autism spectrum disorders, I would not agree they should forever stay off the Internet. It is best to read books, magazine, studies and articles by well-respected and acknowledged experts in the field until you have a good handle on autism. There can be a lot of misinformation available to the public that is not helpful. Once you have formed an opinion on what is credible and what is not, then the Internet is an excellent source of information for current studies, news, forums, education, laws, etc.
3) Be cautious of which support groups you join.
Again, while I agree with her initial warning, I would not discourage any parent from joining a support group. Receiving the diagnosis of autism did leave us shell shocked for a while. At first we walked around not knowing what to think. Then we grieved for a while over the lost dreams. Then we went into research mode and read everything we could get our hands on and talked to other parents. Eventually we settled down into a pattern of advocating for our child and eventually others. There are all kinds of support groups available. Our doctor was concerned we might land in a group which be "stuck in grief." She was also concerned about groups that "are militant in their ideas about treatments, cures, advocacy, lobbying, etc." Once we had a good handle on what we believed about autism we were in a much better position to find a group that was right for us. I am not making a comment on the various types of groups, just suggesting not jumping into a group right away when you are still in shock.
4) Start contacting the school system.
While she was right to send us to the public school system to look into what services might be available for our child, she was wrong to suggest that the school system is under legal obligation to provide these services. Under the federal law Individuals with Disabilities Educational Act (IDEA) a child with a disability is not automatically eligible for special education and related services under the law, which states the child must meet two requirements. First, the school system must make the determination that the child has a disability as defined by the law. Second, a special team made up of school personnel and parents together (called the Individual Educational Plan or I.E.P. team) must determine the disability prevents the child from benefiting from their free and appropriate public education (F.A.P.E.) without special education or related services. Knowing this important distinction can save parents a lot of anger, frustration and misunderstanding.
5) Take it one day at a time and do not tackle everything at once.
The diagnosis is for a lifetime. Do not try to learn about it and treat it in the first few days. As my son grows older I am finding that some of his issues are gone, but new ones come. It can be overwhelming for both you and the child to try to tackle the behavioral issues, the sensory issues, the social skill issues and other issues all at once. Pick one or two of the most pressing or disruptive issues and work on them. When you are comfortable you have these down or resolved, then pick up the next two or three. For example, when our son was first diagnosed, potty training and getting him to leave the house without a fight were our first two issues. No preschool programs would take him without being potty trained and we knew he needed the socialization to make it in kindergarten. Likewise, our lifestyle just did not allow us to remain at home because it was easier. Our doctor prescribed and our insurance company paid for an Applied Behavioral Analyst to come to our home and work on these issues. After we were a couple months into the program, we tackled the next issues.
That year, the psychologist's advice went a long way in helping us. I will add my own piece of advice. Take notes when you are at the doctor's office. It will help you remember what the doctor told you, especially if you are receiving some shocking information.
When word gets around about your command of musical educations facts, others who need to know about musical educations will start to actively seek you out.
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5 years ago